Tonight I googled “childbirth”… 3 listings down the page I found this little gem of an article, so aptly and elegantly titled “Childbirth is horrific. Why did no one warn me?”
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“Just to really drive this home for you; VBACs and the risk of uterine rupture are almost a complete non-issue when compared to the statistics for maternal outcomes for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Women who die at THREE TIMES the rate for other Australian women.”
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It’s one of the first things that comes to mind for most people when they think or speak about child birth – the pain. So it goes without saying that many people go into their births expecting that they will need or that they are going to opt for pain relief, regardless of how their actual birth transpires.
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“The evidence proves that when pushing is delayed until the mother's urge to push, there are fewer fetal heart rate decelerations and less of a negative effect fetal oxygenation. Add in the lowered risk of needing interventions and it's really a no-brainer. “
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The conclusion of the study I referred to above really sums up this discussion nicely:
“Our ability to predict macrosomia is poor. Our management policy of suspected macrosomic pregnancies raises induction of labour and caesarean delivery rates without improving maternal or fetal outcome.”
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Whilst I say I chose this path due to a lack of education, what else is a lack of education on your options if not a fear of the unknown?
So did I choose not to birth at home out of fear. Yes. Ultimately I did.
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Holding space is so important because pity is so damaging. In what situation can you think of that pity would actually do someone well? Pity only digs that person’s hole deeper and makes their load heavier. Not only now are they feeling terrible about their situation, but they have also been made aware that everyone else is feeling terrible for them.
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“Unlike a husband, mother or friend, doulas are professionals who devote their lives to supporting women during this vitally important time in their life and they have lots of knowledge about different birth options. Doulas bring with them the experience of seeing a wide array of different birth outcomes so they are flexible, rather than rigid, in their expectations. They do not bring into the birth room any fear of birth, or their own personal history with the birthing woman which may impact on her birth.”
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You see, when you reach a certain age and you’ve ticked certain boxes like a good job, a stable relationship, maybe you’ve kept a pet or a good house plant alive for a solid amount of time, you’ve got a good family car etc. you are expected to be stoked at this life changing news. Except, not everyone is. I wasn’t.
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Believe it or not one of the biggest risk factors for getting a c-section is not your personal preferences or your medical record, it is which hospital you go to and which care provider you choose.
So choose wisely my friend.
Why is it okay for us females to demand choices and options but not okay for us to extend these same choices to our birthing partners? It doesn’t take away from your glorious feminine power by extending a little consideration towards your husband/partner…
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